dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
