Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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