I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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