Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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