Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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