That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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