i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
