Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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