your room smells of hookers.
And success
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
wow bdsm is so cute
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
