OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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