Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
