True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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