why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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