Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
