i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
