hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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