I should be sponsored by Trojan
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize