I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
