Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
