All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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