I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
