I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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