my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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