"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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