He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
they're like a gay fantastic four
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
