I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
