I can tuck mytits in my pants
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
