And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
