Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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