you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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