In the future we'll all be gay
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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