another moral hangover. fuck.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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