He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
