dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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