It was confusing and full of hummus
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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