kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
