what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
