...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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