Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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