He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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