Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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