So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
