we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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