He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sext me about skeletons
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
