My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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