So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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