I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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