I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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