I'm really into asian looking animals
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
