what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
