Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
