My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Boobs speak an international language.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
