Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize