just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
