I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
