shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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