dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize