Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I want a musical about memes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
