They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need to sanitize my soul.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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