Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
