boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
