We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
