my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
