he puts the penis in happiness.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
